Two of the most common reasons that a woman will play hard to get with a guy are:
1. He’s not being enough of a challenge for her.
2. He’s being really nice to her and expecting to be rewarded with sex, love and relationship because of it.
Watch these two videos to understand how it works…
Playing Hard to Get is Beneficial For Her
Women aren’t stupid. Well, most aren’t.
When a woman plays hard to get, she knows that it will be much more beneficial to her than being too easy to pick up.
A woman will play hard to get because it will allow her to find a very confident guy (confidence is irresistibly attractive to women) and it will usually make guys want her more and value her higher than other guys.
Guys will say, “This girl is special. I really like her. She’s not like other girls. I really want to be with her” because the woman will be making herself out to be the prize to be won. She is placing a lot of value on herself and because the majority of guys don’t know how to counter that, they fall right into her trap.
Playing Hard to Get Protects Her From Getting Hurt Too Easily
At some point in her life, a woman will be told by friends or family members that if she agrees to go out with a guy too quickly, she might appear “easy” and the guy will lose interest.
A woman who plays hard to get will often hide her true feelings and get a guy working hard to keep her attention because she is insecure about her attractiveness. Most guys don’t realize that the majority of women are insecure about their looks, even if they behave as though they are confident.
According to a global study on beauty conducted by Dove Cosmetics, 96% of women do not consider themselves to be beautiful.
In other words, women ACT like they are hot stuff and that a guy would be so lucky to be with them, but deep down, almost all women are insecure about their attractiveness to guys. A lot of this has to do with the way that women are presented in magazines, porn and advertisements.
A modern woman will look at women in magazines and porn and realize that she looks NOTHING like that unless she really puts a lot of effort in to pile on loads of make up and keep body in perfect shape. Every little pimple/blemish or bit of cellulite makes a woman feel that little bit more insecure about herself.
She will hide it by ACTING confident, but she knows that she’s not perfect.
She Has Been Hurt or Tricked By Guys Before
Some women are guarded because they have been hurt by an ex-boyfriend, or may have been quickly dumped once a man was able to attract her and get her interested. For these men, they’re playing the “Can I get her?” game and once they do, they lose interest.
It might also be that while a man has never showed this type of behavior to her, her friends have been the victim of men playing these types of games and she wants to make sure it doesn’t happen to her.
To avoid being hurt by you, some women will play hard to get to hopefully make you feel more desperate to be with her.
She will attempt to make sure that you are truly interested in a possible relationship with her, before she fully opens herself up to you. Unfortunately, in most of these cases, men go too far when trying proving themselves and end up turning the woman off by becoming desperate and being too keen.
The best strategy is NOT to try to convince her to like you or pour your heart out to her and explain how much you like her. The best strategy is to get her chasing you and desperately trying to be your girlfriend.
Get her to become so attracted and interested in you that she blurts out her feelings for you. Don’t let her play you with her games because if you get sucked in by it and become needy, insecure and desperate, that will actually turn her off.
She is Tired of How Other Guys Approach Her
Many women, especially beautiful women, get hit on all of the time. In most cases, they get approached by men who try to amaze them with a pick up line or by guys who are too nervous, too eager or too awkward.
After a while, they have an automatic response ready to reject guys and ask to be left alone. A woman will rarely meet a guy who can approach and talk to her in a confident, easy-going manner while also being able to make her feel attracted to him. When she does meet a guy like that, she immediately opens up to him.
If you want to be successful at approaching and meeting women, you’ve got to drop all the bullshit and acting. You’ve got to be real, easy-going and confident. Don’t put on an act, don’t think that women are stupid and will be amazed by a pick up line and don’t put too much pressure on the interaction.
Just be the cool, confident guy that you are and have a fun, interesting conversation with the women.
She Plays Mind Games Because it Works
Let’s face it, playing hard to get works for many women. There are a lot of desperate men who will do pretty much anything to get some attention from women. What these guys don’t realize is that women are attracted to the strength in men (e.g. confidence, masculinity) and turned off by the weakness (e.g. desperation, self-doubt, insecurity).
Begging and pleading a woman to give you a chance never works. Spending hours trying to convince her to like you doesn’t work either. What works is making her feel sexually attracted to you by being confident and masculine around her.
Many women use the desperation of guys to increase their self-confidence. They eat up all the compliments offered and try to use that to feel confident enough around guys who actually make them feel attraction.
Remember: 96% of women don’t think they are beautiful. They make ACT as though they are the hottest girl in the world, but they do not believe that. Most women you meet are insecure about their looks.
Give Her Some of Her Own Medicine
One of the best ways to win over a girl who is playing hard to get, is to simply turn the tables on her. Get her chasing you and hoping to win you over.
How to get her chasing you:
- Attract her by being confident and masculine.
- Make her feel girly in response to your masculinity.
- Flirt with her and create a sexual vibe.
- Be 100% attracted to her, but do not be 100% interested in her.
- Allow your interest level in her to rise and fall based on how well she treats you.
- When she begins treating you well, don’t show intense interest. Just let your interest rise slowly.
- The nicer she is to you and the more interest she shows, the more you reward her by slowly raising your interest level.
I’ve used that approach to sleep with models and women who usually reject 99% of the men who try to pick them up. Women LOVE being put in the position where they feel lucky to be with you. Beautiful women are usually bored to death of guys who are desperate to get a chance with her. She wants to have the feeling that she is winning you over.
Lessons from “The Bachelor”
You might have heard of or watched the reality television show called “The Bachelor.” The basic premise is that 25 beautiful woman vie for the attention of one man, The Bachelor, in the hopes of finding a husband.
During the course of the show, “The Bachelor” dates the women to find out who he likes until he’s left with two women, one of whom he supposedly proposes marriage to or at least suggests that they enter into a monogamous relationship after the show ends.
What makes the show so interesting is how these beautiful women (who would normally play hard to get in a one on one situation) behave as they try to win “The Bachelor’s” heart.
It’s a fact of nature (even if women deny it to your face) that women are more attracted to men who other liked and wanted by other women. In the case of The Bachelor show, they want to be the girl he chooses for several reasons (e.g. fame, feel special on TV, beat the other women, etc), but the fundamental instinct of being attracted to men that other women want is a huge driver.
You can have the same effect on women in the real world. Instead of being the super keen guy who hopes to be chosen by women, get women hoping to be chosen by you. Be the sort of guy that women want (i.e. confident, masculine, real) and just believe in yourself. Allow you interest in women to rise and fall based on how they are treating you.
If you are behaving in an attractive way, most or all of the women will show signs of interest in you. When a woman notices that all the other women in the group are interested in you as well, she will become desperate to win your attention.
When her friends see that, their attraction for you will rise as well. It’s pretty cool how it works. Just make sure that you remain humble and don’t get big-headed about it though.
Just smile, relax and know that most women like you and want to be with you. It’s an awesome way to live life and it makes the dating process simple and effortless…
Free video reveals how ordinary guys get laid or get a girlfriend by using a simple approach that works instantly on all kinds of women...
if…the women not feeling it with me is the only one who is around me..:
what do i have to do?? kk
Abraham, do you mean that the woman who isn’t interested in you is the only woman who is around you and there aren’t any other women that you see? Then, man, you have to get out more and meet more women! Women are everywhere – you just have to go look. there in stores, restaurants, bars, on the street. They are everywhere. So just go out and start talking to some other chicks. You’ll find 1 that’s interested in you.
Hi Abraham
Thanks for your question.
If she is not feeling it for you, it means she is not attracted to you. Either learn how to attract her (read my ebook The Flow: http://www.themodernman.com/the_flow.html) or start approaching new women.
Think about it…
If there is a woman that you are not attracted to, what can she do about it? She either has to make herself more attractive to you, or find another man.
Cheers
Dan
Hey Guys,
thanks for great reading. The things that you write about really works. I’m just constantly facing one problem…dunno if it’s just me but I’m always approaching women that are commited to someone..how to avoid this? Because they don’t tell you instantly but later on after you had a great conversation. And this is putting me back all the time…
Hi Mikulas
Thanks for your question.
After 5 years of coaching new guys every weekend (where I take them out to bars and show them how to approach random women), this has to be one of the most common complaints I hear BEFORE the course.
As the course begins, we miraculously only speak to about 20% of women who have boyfriends. Why? Simple. When most guys say that they always meet women who already have a boyfriend, it is usually because:
a) They have only approached a few women in the last year and have then come to this conclusion.
b) They are not attracting women properly and the woman are politely trying to end the conversation without hurting the guy’s feelings.
So, from here Mikulas, you need to either:
1) Approach more women.
You will not be compatible with every woman you meet and some women will already have a boyfriend – that is just how it naturally works for everyone. If you are able to attract women well, you should be able to get a phone number from 5 out of every 10 women you approach.
2) Learn how to attract women properly.
We teach you how to do that in our dating advice products:
http://store.themodernman.com/
Cheers
Dan
Suppose you fall for your best friend(she obviously doesn t know anything about your feelings), how would yyou take it to the next level of the relationship without estranging the relationship you already have with her?
Hi Rohan
Thanks for your question.
This one is easy. You simply flirt with her and if she flirts back, she’s interested in you sexually.
Do you know how to flirt?
Sometimes, it can be awkward to escalate things to kissing from there. It helps to organize a ‘chill out night’ at your place where you watch a movie on the couch together while having a few drinks (or just have coffee, tea or hot chocolate if you’re not going to drink). If she snuggles up to you (after you’ve done the flirting and know that she interested), then move in for the kiss. She’ll be waiting for it.
Cheers
Dan
Nothing is working for me! I met this great intelligent younger woman who lives in my building. She’s single, been hurt before, and she talks to me outside of the building whenever I’m out there and she comes home from work. We’ve even had some pretty personal conversations about ourselves. There’s a couple of issues though. I’m 45, and she’s 32, and I’m in a 14 year relationship. My relationship is now more like a convenience for the one I’m with. If we broke up, she would have no family or friends to go and stay with. She’s 56, and a great girl, but we haven’t had sex in over 4 years now. It seems ever since she had cancer, she has lost her sexdrive. I feel that being in my prime, I need to have that intimatecy! She tells me every single day that she loves, but it’s just not enough anymore! I DO still love her too, but I’m finding my thoughts are more on this other younger woman. Now getting back to this new found “friend”, I’ve complimented her on occasion, but her reaction is kind of negative. She doesn’t say thanks for the compliment at all. She just lets it fly over her head, so to speak. She has to know by now that I really am into her, but I just see her as wanting to be friends, just like she is with the one I’m with. Hell, the three of us have even gone to the movies together and are going to a Kid Rock concert next Saturday! She hasn’t ever touched me in any way, but she does look me in the eyes for a little bit longer than normal even when she’s done talking. Which she does a hell of a lot of, talking that is. But she’s always talking about herself, and doesn’t really seem to care when I say something about myself. I think in her mind, I’m, one, too old for her, and two, in a relationship already. She’s told me during a general conversation that she wants to find a guy who is between 28-35, doesn’t want to be the breadwinner ( she has a very well paying office job), and have a lot in common with her. She’s a video game fanatic, as well as I am and we’ve had many talks about games, but hardly romantic. She hasn’t shown me any body language stating she wants to be more than friends. I even told her the other day that things aren’t as what they seem in my relationship. She only suggested for us to go to councelling! I hope that you will have some answers for me, either way!
Okay, you can forget all what I said above. I was talking to her today, and right in the middle of me talking to her, she started talking to another guy who lives in our building. All the while she was talking to him, she had her back to me. Their conversation was all on their favorite hobby, video games. One in particular that he was talking to her about the other day. She told him today that she went out and bought it since they last talked about it. He’s more her age and single anyway. So, all the power to them.
i would say that most of the women out there now play very hard to get. as a man that was married twice, i was a very caring and loving husband that never cheated on them. they did both cheat on me, and i was very committed to them at the time. now that i am alone and single again, it sure sucks for me. i go out every single night hoping that i will be at the right place at the right time to meet a good woman for me again. i seem to meet all the nasty ones, instead of the good ones now. they act and dress like filthy pigs today, which makes it worse. there are so many women now that are lesbians, and have a very bad attitude as well. i would say now, at least half of them are garbage and not worth meeting at all. i cannot blame myself for what these women have become now. hey wait, did i say decent women? where the hell are the good ones now for us good sincere men that want to meet a good woman today?
Hi there
Thanks for your comments.
Sorry to hear that both of your ex wives cheated on you. I can understand why you’d have a negative view of women, but the truth is women are not all “filthy pigs” as you call them now. Women cheat for many reasons; sometimes it is the man’s fault and sometimes the woman is to blame. Read this article, the comments and my replies to the comments and you will learn more about the real reasons relationships break down:
http://www.themodernman.com/dating/relationships/can-you-get-your-ex-girlfriend-back.html
Cheers
Dan
responding to your comment, i will try to read the article. but i have to say, i do meet the nastiest women now out there. you have to also remember, i am in my late fifties now and i wish that i was thirty years younger again. my age is against me now, as you can see. they do play very hard to get. i even try to start a conversation with them at the book store, but they will walk away from me and even curse at me. i am really serious about that. in fact, i know other men that this happened too. the problem here is they were probably abused years ago, that that will add to the problem as well. if i can meet the right one someday, it would be like winning the lottery for me.
Hi mate
Yes, I understand your frustration and how your age would now be a factor in reducing your compatibility with some women. However, you also need to understand the rules of approaching women in bookstores and other environments. Each environment you meet a woman in requires a different approach, which is why we created 21 Great Ways to Get a Girlfriend and explained the approach needed to be successful in each environment.
Additionally, yes – there are some “nasty” people in the world, but for the most part, people are friendly and have good intentions. From our research and real life testing of approaching over 6,000 women, we found that around 80% of women will be friendly and open when you approach. Listen to this audio to hear how we did it: http://www.themodernman.com/the_truth_about_dating_power.html Also listen to these audios of women we interviewed on the street:http://www.themodernman.com/street_talk_with_women.html
Cheers
Dan
Just reading these posts just shows what an impossible task this could have been. I
grew up believing that I could become a responsible man, a gentleman, a good husband
and a good father, but this “impossible”
“wreck” of a dating game showed me that I
would get drummed out real early, for failure ( or unwillingness) to be this guy that women seem to want.
I have been given a great life, but there are no women involved, and that is life, but I really wish you guys a lot of good luck!
Hi Dave
So, you’re going to accept not having any women in your life because you think “not being such a pushover” is too difficult? Lol, dude – you can be still be a gentleman to modern women, just don’t chase them like a desperado like the guy described in the article. If you place too much value on a woman and try to pick her up, she’ll usually put her guard up. It’s just human nature – grow up and deal with it, or stay alone.
Better Than a Bad Boy is about being a GOOD GUY, but also offering women the things that turn them on at a deep level. If that’s too much to ask from you, then women will continue to not show interest in you. They don’t want a guy who is super nice and places them on a pedestal, they want a guy who is nice, but who also makes them feel special. How do you do that? Watch Better Than a Bad Boy and you’ll find out.
Cheers
Dan
Mr. Bacon – I do not know where the “pushover” line came from , but such inexperience has shown me that I certainly know NOTHING about women.
Again, I give you and your staff your props for getting guys some chance to understand all this. God Bless!
there are without a doubt just too many LOW LIFE WOMEN out there nowadays, with their SHIT DON’T STINK OF AN ATTITUDE that really makes it very hard to meet A DECENT WOMAN TODAY. if women would have been like they were years ago, it certainly would had been a lot easier meeting them. years ago, women had to accept a man for himself, since they did not have the POWER that they have now. for instance, there are now many women that are DOCTORS, LAWYERS, DENTISTS, and many of them are a BIG BOSS in many companies. and many of them, are in other PROFESSIONAL FIELDS. unlike years ago, when they were not. so it certainly was a lot easier meeting women years ago. today, they seem to want it all, and with the BAD ATTITUDE that they have now just makes it worse. it is DEFINITELY the women that are at FAULT, NOT US MEN. there are many of us men that can accept a woman for who she is, and she does not have to have a lot of MONEY to make us happy. but you women seem to like men that have a lot of money, and GOD FORBID if you can accept a man for who he is. this is the reason why, there are so many LOW LIFE GARBAGE WOMEN that are out there now. just look at our PARENTS AND GRANDPARENTS, THEY ARE A PERFECT EXAMPLE. they accepted one another for what they had. i guess you see my point, that i am making.
Hi Paul
Firstly, you’re right: Women do make it more difficult these days because they don’t have to settle for any man. They earn their own money and are free to do what they want.
Secondly, you sound like a girl, whinging and complaining like that. You’re acting like a little boy who has had his toy taken from him by another child, “Mummy! Tell him to give it back! I was playing with it.” That’s not how a man handles his problems. A man accepts that there is problem, works out what he needs to do to fix it or overcome it, then does that and gets on with his life. No amount of sulking is going to change the modern world back to the black & white days of no sex before marriage and women being wholly dependant on men. Those days are over and you need to come to terms with it.
Thirdly, you need to become a stronger man if you want today’s, empowered women to accept you and want you. Either that and you will be destined to stay alone with internet porn for the rest of your life.
If you want to learn how to attract today’s women and stop feeling like such a poor little boy who’s had his toy taken away, watch Better Than a Bad Boy.
Cheers
Dan
women that play hard to get, need to really GROW UP. they need to read a book on how to talk too men better, instead of being so DAMN NASTY TODAY. i guess many women have been so VERY BADLY ABUSED by men at one time, and the innocent men like us that are looking for a nice woman now have to suffer for the LOW LIFE MEN that had punished them before. women are definitely afraid of men, and i am one of many GOOD MEN out there that would know how to treat a woman well. the dating game certainly gets MUCH HARDER as you get older, and now that i am in my late fifties it is very hard meeting a GOOD WOMAN to be compatible with today. where i live, they really don’t have the SINGLE DANCES like they once use to. and since i live down the shore, women are not that friendly to talk too. i will walk on the BOARDWALK a lot, and it is hard to say hello to the women, because they will just walk away. so any GOOD ADVICE that you have, please let me know. thanks.
Hi Paul
Okay, sure I can help you out a bit here.
First of all, DON’T WRITE LIKE THIS. You come across as overly emotional when you write that way. A real man feels emotions, but remains in control of his emotions. Secondly, approaching women during the day takes a lot of skill as is not recommended for a newbie who doesn’t understand how to properly approach women in various environments. Before you approach women during the day, you first have to learn how to use the right body language, conversational tone, conversation and approach. My assumption is that you would be coming across as weak and hesitant when attempting to talk to these women, which (in case you don’t know) is very unattractive to women. As I explain (and demonstrate) in Coaching Call Breakthroughs, you need to use power, confidence, presence as well as a relaxed attitude when approaching during the day.
My advice to you would be to at least read The Flow and learn how to speak to women in a way that causes them to laugh, feel happy and excited to be talking to you. From there, get comfortable with the idea of being a good guy (which you already are), but also throwing in the more confident, charming type of conversation that women crave. They don’t just want to exchange pleasantries with you, they want to feel something. If you’re not prepared to talk to them in the way that excites them, then most won’t be interested in talking to you. It’s that simple. You give women what they want and they’ll give you what you want. However, if you just want them to give you what you want, but are not interested in making them feel what they want to feel, you’ll be alone.
…oh, and don’t go thinking you’re too old for this either. Have a read of this and you’ll see that a 52 year old has been using The Flow to have sex and relationships with women in their 20s.
Additionally, we have a program called 21 Great Ways to Get a Girlfriend. Almost all the ways to get a girlfriend do not involve going to bars. They are mostly during the day (e.g. adult learning class, mixed sports team, etc). Listen to that program if you want to learn what to say and do in each of those situations to get yourself a girlfriend.
Cheers
Dan
It’s like I put women on the pedestal. Every time I meet a beautiful woman I start to think that she’s the one. I get emotionally wrapped up in love songs from r and b singers and from movies. I have come to the realization that something is wrong with the way I converse with women. I know about the laugh listen and lead and the three responses flirting, relating, and exploring. How do I make the woman talk about themselves it’s like I always have 2 b the one to initiate the conversation Like I’m entertaining them. Why can’t they talk about themselves? An example of this is a woman who I’ve been talking 2 in school—
Me: so when r u available
Her: Whenever
Me:Igght Monday…where U want to go…cause I kno U eat kosher food right
Her: Yea and idc
Me:igght let’s watch a movie in Newport mall then we’ll come up wit something else to do…ighht
Her:Ok
Me:igght pbe (PBE is a nickname I gave her which means Pretty Brown Eyes)
Me: hi
Her: Hey
Me: so what movie do u want to watch? Batman, spiderman, some chick flick
Her: Ted
Me: Ok at 6 or 5…cause hopefully if it doesn’t rain after the movie we should go to the waterfront nd see the view.
Her: Wait I can’t today I have to babysit
Me: I kno…I’m talking about monday
Her: Ok
Me: Ok so we’ll meet up in Newport mall around 5…ps try not to abuse me in public …I hope ur not one of those girls dat can’t be taken anywhere..lol
Her: Lmfao ass
Me: Lmao…u kno dat I’m telling the truth…u got dat mean streak in u
Her: lol I know
Me: So what’s the best thing dat happened 2 u in a few months
Her: I quit my job
Me: What made your job at Target so bad
Her: Everything
Me: I would of thought dat U’d a went bald if that was tha case. I kno when I was working in homedepo they has me doing labor work nd tha ppl there were acting stingy
When Monday hit I texted her and called her but she didn’t response. I started to look at my text messages with her and realized that she didn’t really talk about herself just like the other woman that I’ve texted. I read The Flow and I just wanted to know what product deals with the things I’m going thru.
Hi Brad
Thanks for your question.
You’re a classic case of a guy who reads The Flow, doesn’t use it and then wonders why he’s having trouble. I’ll point out a few mistakes for you:
“Me: so when r u available” Wrong
“Me:Igght Monday…where U want to go” Wrong
“Me: So what’s the best thing dat happened 2 u in a few months” Wrong. What did I say comes before you ask a woman a question like that?
About your question, “How do I make the woman talk about themselves it’s like I always have 2 b the one to initiate the conversation” Brad, that is explained in The Flow. Re-read it and you will see that I explain what you need to say before asking a woman a question about herself.
Brad – you need to follow the advice in The Flow 100% until you are a natural with it, then feel free to break the rules. The way you’re approaching it at the moment is like getting driving lessons from a professional instructor and then as soon as the instructor is out of the car, you drive down the wrong side of the road and start crashing into things. Do this properly or don’t do it at all. Forget your RnB love songs – that’s entertainment, not reality. Wake up to the real world and realize that what seems to work on Hollywood movies and what is sung about in RnB songs is not what works in real life. You’ve been living in a fantasy version of reality.
About this comment, “Every time I meet a beautiful woman I start to think that she’s the one. I get emotionally wrapped up in love songs from r and b singers and from movies.” You need to watch Better Than a Bad Boy. You just don’t understand what women want. If you can’t afford Better Than a Bad Boy, read The Flow again and follow the advice 100% until you are a natural with it. However, let me say now – if you’re not going to follow the advice properly, don’t bother getting the program. It’s frustrating for me to hear from guys like you who want success with women, get professional advice from me and then keep making the same old stupid mistakes. Follow the advice…! Do it properly or don’t do it at all.
BTW: Have you seen the 100s of other success stories written by guys all over this site? They succeeded because they followed the advice. Heck, even this guy did: http://www.themodernman.com/dating/audio/turn_rejection_into_success.html At the moment, it appears that you are using about 20% of the advice in some situations. Not good enough. Do it properly or not at all.
Cheers
Dan
Hey Dan, just thought I’d let you know how I went with your Flow approach. I bought the book 2 months ago and read all 214 pages in 2 days…I couldn’t stop reading it! It was very eye opening for me.
So about a week after reading, my friends and I went to a house party of a mutual friend. Everyone was amazed and stunned at how much attention I was getting from the girls there, especially since I was always one to shy away and not interact much with people at parties. So I got to kissing a girl after being at the party for about an hour, then I went home and slept with her that night.
Following that confidence building experience, I went to my local nightclub with the same friends and again I was a hit with the chicks. Now that I know what to say, I just walk up and turn it on and it works. I got two phone numbers that night and followed up with one of them and that girl is now my sexy girlfriend.
So Dan, I just wanted to post this up and say thanks. You guys really are changing lives here and you deserve all the cred you can get. I have become so confident now that nothing makes me nervous or anxious anymore. I now and fully confident in my abilities with women and my girlfriend always notices how other women hit on me, for example when go to a restaurant and I talk to the waitress and so forth. I love this new way of life and want to thank you for opening my eyes to it.
Mackey
AWESOME success story!
Thanks so much for sharing that Mackey. You’ve got no idea how much I appreciate guys like you posting up your success. Thanks a lot.
Enjoy your relationship with your new girlfriend! You deserve all the love and happiness that will come with it.
Cheers
Dan
my girlfriend and I have been dating for 2 months.we have known each other for 2 years. we work at the same place and I’m her boss.But she doesnt work that much because business is slow. she has two kids, divorced. She is in financial hardship and I have helped her out financially like $2,000 rent, electric,cable,christmas gifts for her kids,help her mom who was sick and needed medication ECT. I do these things because I have fallen in love with her. and want to ensure her and the kids are OK. the thing is she has a guard up and wont invite to her place, or come over to my place, or invite me to her kids and go out for dinner with them. we have been intimate one time when we spent the night at a hotel and dinner together. i am patience, but its hard. She is from South America and her beliefs are strong as far as going over her boyfriends house like me and have a room mate. she feels uncomfortable. but her exhusband has the kids three days a week. and that is where One or two days go to her place and spend quality time together. she says she doesnt invite or have ever invited boyfriends to her house. any thoughts to help me understand ?? Thanks Please send response to my email
Hi Dale
Thanks for your question.
I’ll reply here and not to your e-mail! 🙂 I don’t do personal e-mails because it’s way too time consuming. Imagine 1,000 guys wanting to send you multiple, personal e-mails every day.
Okay, onto your question: Sounds like you are desperate for a woman because you don’t approach women you find attractive and thus have no options except her. She is possibly just using you, or she has very strict rules when it comes to that stuff, but I suspect she is just leading you on to get help for now. When a woman is sexually attracted to you and really wants you, she will open herself up to it. It sounds like you two are more like friends than anything else. You should read: Is Getting Lucky the Answer to Success With Women?
Cheers
Dan
I came across this article after googling tip for dating for a woman lol. I have to say this: I 100% agree that any woman who plays games (or any man for that matter) need to grow up. Playing the hard to get game is the MOST annoying thing in the world. And as a 30 year old woman, I can relate to all of your issues with women. They are down right nasty, bitchy, fake, immature, cold, verbally abusive, and not real ladies anymore. I was fortunate to be brought up in a southern state where real women still act like respectable ladies who have sugar an fire in their blood, can tell you the entire college basketball lineup while making sweet tea.
I’m thinking that maybe it’s the area in which you live? I’ve lived in Seattle, LA, Chicago, Raleigh, and Kentucky and the cultures vary widely. The worst dating scenes I ever came across were in LA and Seattle.
And I agree with another commenter that there are some of us, well hell! Most of us who have been treated very badly by men. And that’s so unfortunate for the good, decent, honest men who want a fulfilling companionship. Dating is down right terrible nowadays and I just avoid it altogether. So as a tip from one of the great women, I say approach your target lady with a quiet confidence that doesn’t come across as desperate. Just be yourself, be funny and don’t be afraid to act like a total goofball. We like that! In fact I make my living as a comedian so maybe it’s just me? Lol but no really, we love it when a man can sweep us off our feet with a sense of humor and a dash of cheesy romance. Also, suggest an out of the norm date. Not the usual dinner and movie.
Hope this helps! And to any of you fantastic men, I’m single and ready to mingle hahaha ;^D
Hey Andriana
Thanks for adding your female perspective.
As for whether or not your advice helps: To be honest – not really. Sweep you off your feet? Cheesy romance? How about you do that for us guys? 😉 At The Modern Man, we are giving men their power back and helping them realize that it is THEM who hold the “ace card” when it comes to the dating game.
Thanks anyway 🙂
Cheers
Dan
I am almost 50 just divorced my wife of 24 years and I feel like I am stale in the dating scene being a little hard on myself. I know thinking/feeling negative will get me in trouble. Reminiscing, what I was like and all the luck I had before I got married now wondering what I am doing wrong. I know, history. Either I am stagnate and feeling the “scene” has changed but not me. I have had only one girlfriend in 2 years. I am good looking guy and in descent shape. Any words of advice? Thanks. Tim
Hey Tim
Thanks for your question.
Yes, I definitely do have some words of advice for you. Here are some articles I’ve written for men in your situation:
http://www.themodernman.com/dating/dating-after-50.html (I know you’re not 50 yet, but the same rules apply).
http://www.themodernman.com/dating/relationships/dating-after-divorce.html
About you being good looking: Understand that your looks isn’t what counts the most. Read: http://www.themodernman.com/dating/do-women-judge-men-on-looks.html
Cheers
Dan